As long as I got my suit n’ tie…

This weekend, while my peers sleep in late and bask in the sun, I will be representing a client. Ms. Bowman has been accused of helping her friend rob an amusement park. Of course, as I will argue to the jury during my closing arguments, she is innocent of these charges. My co-counsel and I will defend her by calling witnesses to the stand, and cross-examining the prosecutio...
Read More

A Pig Named Chaos: Surviving The Museum of Death

The afternoon sky was gray and clear as Unpaid Intern pulled our ZipCar off of the 10 onto Hollywood Boulevard. We cruised up to an ivy-colored building and through its rusty gate. The spot next to us was...reserved. We knew we were at the right place. It took months to get the balls, as the youth say, to go to The Museum of Death. From the website, I knew that they played...
Read More

10 Stages of the Undeclared Pomona Sophomore (IN JGL Pics)

I need not and shall not justify the relevance of Joseph Gordon-Levitt's face to this article.  1. The “I know what I want to be when I grow up” stage (Phase I) Most undeclared sophomores begin as happily declared first years. Thanks to the expectations inculcated into us by parents, gender roles, and s0c13+Y, we enter college confident in our future pursuits. Yes, you pr...
Read More

15 Ways To Gain Your Freshman 15 at Pomona

I enjoy talking about my freshman fifteen. Why? Because it makes people uncomfortable, which is a fun activity. Best is when the person reacts by giving my hand a horrified pat and say, "Oh Auds, you haven't gained weight!" Uh, yes I did, well-meaning high school acquaintance! And it's totally okay! First of all, how cool is it that there is a time in life where society stop...
Read More

How I Sucked As A Person This Week: A Dramatized Tale

Last week’s post was all about making Pomona seem like an oasis from the world’s troubles. This week, our disillusioned readers discover that it’s not all Hakuna Matata and moonchin’ on bugs with Pumba, but that sometimes, even here, life can be like the elephant graveyard. (Sorry I make a lot of strained references to children’s media) (If you ever want to ruin the Lion King f...
Read More

13 Places At Pomona That Still Take My Breath Away

  Wig Beach Palm Tree A palm tree? asks the Southern Californian, raising one bleached-blond eyebrow with an unimpressed sigh. YES. A PALM TREE. They may be the west coast equivalent of a pigeon but to a Chicagoan such as myself they are a signifier of leisure and tropical beauty. Plus, they don’t take craps on you, which pigeons are wont to do now and then.  This...
Read More