Dear Internship Coordinator: The Untold Truths of My Cover Letter

Kyra Sanborn

4 Privet Drive Little Whinging, Surrey – 95864 Ÿ- 916.867.5309 Ÿ GrownUpButBoringAndUnoriginalEmail@nonotcalpolypomona.edu

 

Some date that makes it look like I haven’t been working on this cover letter for 3 weeks, 2016

 

Big Giant Company

4700 If Only Rd,

I Wonder if Oprah Lived Here Once, CA 99999

 

Dear Internship Coordinator,

 

I am writing to apply for some intern position with you, which I found through A. an in-depth, arduous google search for “any intern position in California”, B. one of the 100 career/networking websites recommend by my school, or C. a link emailed to me by my mom with the subsequent text: “Finding a job is hard, but this looks fun.”

I am currently in my third year at Pomona College, where I am working incredibly hard but also watching my fair share of medieval musical comedies, taking lots of naps, Instagramming my doodles, and stress-eating 21 Choices every other day. I am studying Economics and Media Studies, which means I am obviously super math-y and artsy, AKA the liberal college’s dream student (please hire me). I was especially drawn to this internship because, first and foremost, I am desperate, but also because I am actually really desperate (and I love your company I swear).

My work as a lackey/research assistant to the Economics Department has improved my investigative and organizational skills through collecting and condensing large amounts of data into presentable formats using various Microsoft applications (Excel, PowerPoint, and some others that nobody really cares about so long as I mention the former two). Additionally, last year I worked for a nonprofit, for which I did slightly different research, then integrated my findings into the company’s social media presence. I also made up my own lyrics to Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” during those days where I just sat in front of a printer and waited for 394 invitations to come out. I worked collaboratively with the company’s marketing team to promote our work, while also independently handling the various social media accounts. (In other words I am a team player who can still figure out Twitter without supervision — WOW). Keeping up with posts while also helping the staff on other projects required a lot of self-motivation, independent action, adaptability, and Nutella-coated bagels on my part.

I also have creative experience in writing and media through Voices, Pomona College’s student-run blog. You should read my stuff- only about 98% of it includes gifs and bad jokes. Blogging consistently tests my editring abilittties, creativity, and understanding of media and communication. Notice, for example, how I successfully communicated a creative joke to you by purposefully misspelling editing and abilities… *Insert mention of Media and communication here to mention in italics all of the abilities of the previous claim.

But here’s why you should actually hire me.

  • My innovative nature — like when the screw came out of my sunglasses so I shoved part of a toothpick in the hole and it worked for a whole year.
  • My curiosity — only a true curious cat would have insisted on trying fish spas and eating scorpions in Thailand instead of getting massages and eating ice cream.
  • My sense of humor — I have none. Oh, see there it is!
  • My meticulousness and attention to detail — like how, for April fool’s, I put pictures of sloths ALL over my friend’s suite (on every wall, in the stalls, on the stairs leading up to the suite, and even in the shower).

But actually, I’m ready to work and I’m ready to learn. Doing research for Pomona (and now for my own Applied Econometrics project) has forced me to be conscientious and unafraid of the tediousness of thorough research and documentation. I also became incredibly fond of spreadsheets, to the point that I got giddy showing my friend my budget workbook from studying abroad. Imagine an intern that gets excited about spreadsheets. Now imagine that intern on three cups of coffee and you will have an idea of my nerdy excitement for budgeting and pretty tables.

My nonprofit internship taught me about marketing and media yes, but also that I need to pursue something that I am unmistakably passionate about, regardless of salary. I made a promise to myself after that time that I’d do my best to seek out experiences that go towards my passion—so you best believe I’m head-over-heels over whatever position I am applying to.

All the hard classes, internships, jobs, clubs, sports, and random activities I have undertaken to this day have made me into someone, I believe, that can be of some use. I can’t promise that I won’t be nervous and awkward every now and then, nor can I promise that my boundless energy will be boundless every single day, but I can promise that as an intern I will work my derriere off every day that I work at your company. Thank you for considering my application.

 

Swimcerely,

Kyra Sanbo Sanborn

P.S. HIRE ME, PLEASE